After updating my blog I managed to drag my sweaty face into the shower and begin trying to make sense of what the day entailed. The hangover was so intense and resulted in a constant headache lingering in the background of what was a plateau of confused thoughts that kindly accompanied me throughout my day. As we have a teeny tiny postbox that is so teeny tiny the postman can only just fit the post cards through it that tell you he can't fit your post through it, I thought I'd take a walk to the central post office on midland road and pick up my packages that were awaiting for me. I bought a carton of fair trade orange juice on the way and began thinking about the looming debate with the SWP regarding Automism and whether or not we need leaders. A friend from the Free Association in Leeds very kindly sent over some copies of Turbulence which is an excellent newspaper about anti-capitalist social movements that may be described as being written from an Autonomist Marxist perspective, which is what I picked up from the post office.
On the way home I popped into sound bites in order to pick up the 500 A4 solidarity pamphlets that dominated the first two days of this week. It was well worth it. I gave some to Sophie and Elaine who were upstairs in Yaffle Cafe eating soup and left some with James before heading home where I crashed into bed and tried to get an hours kip before getting myself ready for the debate at the West End Community Centre. The debate was in a small room and a few people had already arrived. I was introduced to Tom by Sue and took a seat. I was feeling really rough and hungover and could hardly think never mind string an articulate sentence together. I noticed that my man had some typed notes in front of him and had clearly done his preparation. I didn't really see the necessity to go to such lengths. That we don't need leaders seems so inherently evident to me that I felt comfortable talking naturally about the issue. About 15 people turned up which must have been a record for a Derby SWP meeting and the atmosphere was positive and respectful. Tom took it away. I don't want to misrepresent his argument so wont attempt to explain the key points he made or what stood out. 10 minutes later he finished and I declared that 'I agree completely and have nothing to add', which was met with concern from some and laughter from others. 'Only joking'. I explained I hadn't prepared anything so wanted to talk naturally about the issue and more importantly would like to open the debate and hear more voices from the floor. I explained that I thought it necessary to define what we mean by 'need' as well as 'leaders' and then put forward some of my own thoughts, ideas and opinions on the matter. I wont go into these now as what I think isn't necessarily that important. However I would like to ask you some questions. If we want to create a world of freedom and equality where people manage their own lives without being oppressed or exploited by others then what means should we use to achieve those ends? In what ways do hierarchical and authoritarian organisations affect those involved in them? Why is that some people think they need leaders? Do we need leaders?
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